The Road That Will Never End

Today, food was not the center of my world.

I don’t post much because I just enjoy staring at my dashboard every time I’m on Tumblr haha. Anyway, I’ve been doing well this week. I have five weeks left until the senior banquet! Let’s see how much weight I can lose by then. My appetite is currently non-existent and that frustrates me. Have to be healthy, have to be healthy..

I’ve been trying very hard to stay in a positive mindset; I even unfollowed a lot of blogs that filled my dashboard with negativity. I’m putting away the scale, I’m not obsessing about food or weight loss, I’m focusing on eating healthier and exercising more. I feel very free. For a while now, I’ve been consumed by my own insanity.. all for what? Being thin? Not worth it. I’m gonna be healthy. At least that will take me to a place that I know will make me happy.

The goal should’ve been to be healthy all along. Wanting to lose weight quickly for no reason other than impatience has done nothing for me. I’m so sick of myself and my attitude. I’m so sick of using all of my energy to battle with myself, when I really shouldn’t have to. I’m sick of making this harder than it has to be.

I have to be healthy now. I can’t keep doing this shit to myself and go in circles, getting angrier and angrier as time goes on. I need to be happy.